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devotional touch + the magic of erotic massage

“What a gift it is to touch someone so intimately – the kind of touch that makes a person happy to be alive. Make someone happy tonight.” -Philip Toshio Sudo, Zen Sex

CC Image Courtesy of Mrs. Logic on Flickr

We need touch.

This is true on a very, very basic level. We’re talking children living or dying based on whether they get enough touch. Yes, that basic.

Strange that it’s not on the usual list of basic survival needs, right? You know: food, water, shelter. Touch should be on there. Yes. That list.

Notice how you feel about (…continue reading)

loving your body as it is

CC Image Courtesy of julien haler on Flickr

Fat. Skinny. Young. Old. Hairy. Wrinkly. What if you could love your body right now, as it is, without changing a thing?

Growing up, I was one of the tallest kids in my class. I learned to slouch, to make myself smaller so I’d take up less space. Later on, in my dating career I pursued people who were thin because that’s what I’d been told was attractive. They either rejected me or, if we did hook up, I worried I would break them. No one was having a good time, (…continue reading)

pleasure heals – part 2

In pleasure heals – part 1 I talked about how stress, anxiety, and general suffering isn’t good for us. Duh! And, now that science is catching up, we’re learning that pleasure IS. Also duh! Your body already knows this, but your mind has probably soaked in all kinds of lies about pleasure, so let me tell your mind a new story. Pleasure can reduce our risk of heart attacks, as well as our heart rate and blood pressure. It boosts our immune system, lengthens our lifespans and helps us think and perform far more creatively and efficiently. It makes us (…continue reading)

pleasure heals – part 1

I caught myself the other day in a pleasure denial loop. Again! Whether I was doing the dishes, doing some writing or doing my partner, I kept finding ways to deny myself pleasure in the process.

It’s so aggravating – here I am, a freakin’ Sex and Intimacy Coach, and I won’t let the pleasure in. Rrrrrrrrr.

In those times it feels like everything else is more important – marketing, paying the bills, prepping for workshops, processing my relationship, personal healing… not only do these things seem more important, it seems important somehow that they be work, and that I (…continue reading)

why i’m a sex coach

You’d think, if I was trying to change the world – and I am – that I’d choose something more serious than, y’know, coaching people about sex. I could be helping people transform their lives or become enlightened. I could be saving the earth, empowering women, dismantling systems of oppression.

At first glance, sex might not seem all that serious or important. Why?

Because sex is adult play. Because it happens in the body. Because it’s private and nobody talks about it. Fascinating that we might think these things are not important! Let’s take a look at each of these (…continue reading)