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my take on the “50 shades” phenomenon

If you’re kinky, or ever wanted to be, you’ve probably heard by now about this whole Fifty Shades of Grey thing: the book trilogy that has been sweeping America (and maybe the English-speaking world?) over the past few months. You may have read the books yourself. Even if you haven’t, you’ve probably heard lots of opinions, both on the books and how they are influencing culture at large. In particular, women.

So first off, I’ll admit it – I only read the first book. I thought it my duty as a sex educator to know firsthand what all the fuss (…continue reading)

there is no one way

Pregnant Nut by Aja Rose Bond

I just got back from a week-long spiritual retreat in the woods and have been talking with folks about the story woven throughout the week. Each year there is a different story or theme, and this year it was the birth of the Egyptian gods. Allow me to share a little piece of the magic with you.

The sun god Ra was the firstborn child of Nut, the starry goddess of the sky, and her husband Geb, the god of the good green earth. And though Ra’s moon brother Thoth had already been (…continue reading)

gender: not as simple as it seems (this is a good thing)

I used to think sex and gender were pretty straightforward. Right? No guessing involved, just clearly: man and woman (or when I was younger, boy and girl). Two options, clearly distinguishable, right down to what colour you prefer: boys like blue, girls like pink. Boys have penises, girls have vaginas. End of story.

Well, first of all, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking – my favourite colour was turqoise when I was a kid, which all on its own put me squarely in the WTF realm. I didn’t like to play with Barbies unless they lived on (…continue reading)

power and the sensitive new age guy

Sensitive New Age Guys.** Hi there. I know you, or at least I’ve seen you around, whether it’s at a ritual, ecstatic dance or at the nearby all-organic-and-fairly-traded tea shop.

I know you mean well (most of you, anyways). You drink kombucha, do yoga, practice tantra, maybe even live in a yurt (not that I’m referencing any youtube videos or anything…). You do your best to be good to the Earth, and to women. Some of you even consider yourselves feminists. So why can’t you get laid?

Giving Up Your Power Just Isn’t Sexy

OK, so it’s not just new (…continue reading)

be here now

Be here now.

Easier said than done, I know! I get caught up in all kinds of things running around in my head. Especially this week, as if the very spring were in my bones. So much to do! So little time! Where do I even start?

Or perhaps this sounds familiar: you’re in bed with your lover (new or old) and you’ve got an idea of what’s supposed to happen. Insert fantasy checklist here – is she going down on me? Check. Did he say the right words? Check. Did they have an orgasm? Check. Or maybe not check (…continue reading)