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Sex & Intimacy Coaching

“Sexual energy in and of itself is neutral. You can have sex in a way that is creative and healing for you, or in a way that keeps you disembodied….”

- Staci Haines, “Healing Sex”

I invite you to still your mind and drop down deep… do you feel in your very bones a call to erotic transformation?

I work with individuals, couples and groups of all genders and sexual orientations to deeply connect with their authentic sexuality. Transformation doesn’t have to be hard! It can be beautiful and pleasurable, following the inherent wisdom of nature and the body. And it can change your whole life, not just your sex life.  Let your pleasure run deep…

Working with Jay freed me from a “mothering” issue that I’d been working on for over 20 years using traditional therapy. Jay’s kinesthetic approach, presence, tenderness, emotional range, and ability to handle intensity were key in overcoming my particular issue and getting to the next layer of growth. I’m grateful to have found Jay and fully endorse Jay as a coach.

- Robert B., Technical Writer

I can help you learn how to:

    • love yourself, your body, or your partner’s body so you stop sabotaging your sex life
    • release sexual shame and embrace sexual autonomy
    • get better connected to your orgasm – taking more time or less, having many or getting to one
    • move beyond sexual trauma
    • build intimacy and rediscover passion in a longterm relationship
    • set boundaries and negotiate for what you do and don’t want
    • make decisions you can stand behind: before, during and after sex
    • negotiate and practice safer sex in a sexy way
    • explore alternative relationship styles, like open marriage and polyamory
    • discover and speak desires clearly and easily
    • stay in your body so you can enjoy what’s actually happening – or shift things if you don’t
    • melt someone with your touch, fuck like you mean it, and fine-tune sensual techniques
    • use sensuality and pleasure to reduce stress and improve your health
    • deepen or rediscover the joys of kissing, making out, fingering, handjobs, and oral sex
    • delay ejaculation and/or maintain your erection for you and your partner’s pleasure
    • get to know your body: what kinds of touch turn you on, and where

model: Laurie
ropework: Jay Hekate
photography: maxximages

  • access and expand physical pleasure
  • move beyond porn addiction
  • access the Divine through sacred sexuality practices
  • discover the bliss of giving and receiving (and other magical forms of touch)
  • access joy through a satisfying sex life

I can also mentor you in exciting new skills to safely and enjoyably enhance your lovemaking, such as:

  • prostate massage, anal sex and strap-on play
  • introductory BDSM (such as spanking, bondage, role-play and dominance/submission)
  • G-spot play and female ejaculation
  • sensual massage

Free 15 minute Phone Consultation

If you’re thinking about scheduling with me but would like a chance to ask me a few questions first, I offer a free 15 minute phone consultation. Just contact me to arrange a time.  You may also want to check out my FAQ page to see if any of your questions are answered there.

Our First Time Face to Face

We will spend this time exploring where you’ve been (your sexual history), where you are now (your current successes and frustrations), and where you’re going (your sexual goals).  This will be invaluable information going forward!  This hour-long session is also an opportunity to touch on any questions you might have for me.

Distance coaching via phone or Skype is also available!

What do Sessions Look Like?

I am privileged to offer a holistic approach to sex and intimacy coaching, including techniques such as verbal guidance and intention-setting, spiritual mentorship, guided meditation and visualization, field trips, somatic (body-focused) exercises, energy work, Tarot reading, and embodied practice.

For the past 20 years, I’ve believed that I can’t really enjoy sex. I’ve had no shortage of experience and also conventional talk therapy. I can’t say what makes Jay’s methods so effective, but in a very brief period of time, I’ve learned to feel like I am connected to my body. And it’s not just my body – all of me feels different, better. Jay has helped me acknowledge that my life isn’t all about what is happening in my head. It’s been pretty incredible.

- Charlene, Lawyer

After our initial session, coaching sessions last between 1.5 and 2 hours and move at the pace of the body.  Creating or transforming patterns in the body takes time, especially when we are letting go of ways of being that are years or decades old.  Be prepared to commit to three or more sessions. Longer sessions and intensive packages are also available by request.

Contact me via my online form to arrange scheduling or find out more!